in which i overanalyze a disney junior show

(written 3.26.23)

t.o.t.s. (tiny ones transport service) is a childrens show about birds who deliver animal babies to other animal people. i unironically enjoy watching stuff like this, and i know childrens media doesnt always have to make complete sense, but i also find it fun to pick these things apart and take them a little too seriously. so here is a dump of my thoughts on the weird logical aspects of this baby show lol. ive seen two out of three seasons so i think i know enough. (dont take this too seriously, its just for fun C: )

who can deliver babies?

so normally only storks can deliver babies, but the main characters, pip and freddy, are a penguin and a flamingo. pip rides around on freddys back while they deliver babies. theyre the first ever non-stork "flyers". but like...in one of the episodes, mr woodbird the inventor (more on him later) just casually invents a machine that lets kc the koala (she takes care of the babies) fly along with pip and freddy whenever. like its just a big drone that attaches to her back. if it was this easy to make a machine that lets anybody fly and this inventor dude was there the entire time then like...why cant anybody just deliver babies :U

how much time is there to deliver babies?

the plot conflict in most episodes is that pip and freddy need to deliver a baby to their parents before the timer they have runs out, but theres a problem like the baby is scared, lost, hungry, etc. how much time exactly do they have?...however long the plot deems necessary. sometimes it seems like they have a few minutes, sometimes a few hours, sometimes a whole day. BUT!! heres the kicker!!! in one episode, they have a baby who wants something, but pip and freddy cant figure out what (bc they are oblivious. again, later). mr woodbird invents a baby translator but it doesnt work for shit and they think the baby wants them to count to a million. so they stop and do that, all while the timer is running out. according to i googled it, counting to a million without stopping takes 11 days, 13 hours, and 46 minutes. so either theyve got an infathomable amount of time, or the universe stands still so pip and freddy can deliver their babies. either way...sounds like a nice easy job doesnt it?? lol

pip and freddy suck at their jobs

so, theyre the protagonists, and what really matters is that they care about the babies and yadda yadda but BOY do they screw up a LOT. they have nearly destroyed the entire t.o.t.s. facility many many times. they lose the baby theyre supposed to be watching like every other episode, usually near water, cliffs, or caves, or in the middle of the woods. their boss is like "its ok pip and freddy!! the baby is happy :D" ill have people on my ass for not answering an email fast enough.

food safety

freddy the flamingo has an obsession with cheese and is rarely seen eating anything else. this is all fine and good, BUT he doesnt eat cheese safely. he eats cheese out of a big unrefrigerated vault specifically to store cheese in. he eats cheese he gets in the mail. he eats a piece of cheese that he put under his hat and forgot about for a week. Eugh

super babies

so the babies need around-the-clock attention, but they can pretty much do anything. they can walk around, dance, and speak in simple sentences the day theyre born. they can enroll in school when theyre like a year old, and theres an episode where the one-year-olds build complicated inventions as a fun project. they can solve intricate problems, sometimes better than the adults can.

mr woodbird

mr woodbird is an inventor who can pull absolutely anything out of his ass. a family of mice dont have a house big enough for their new giraffe baby? no problem, he can build them a whole new house in a couple of hours. machine that can change the weather? done. machine that can make anything bigger and create infinite matter?? ok sure. but of course pip and freddy screw up using it and make a baby gorilla huge and she destroys everything. the biggest problem with this is that shes too big to play the game she wants to play.

lucky.

lucky is the son of jp, one of the flyers at tots. this little bastard can get away with whatever the hell he feels like doing. he constantly steals important things and hides them away. in a wedding episode, he is tasked with spreading the flower petals, and he purposefully spreads them so the baby carrying the ring will slip and almost slide right off a cliff. shes fine, but the ring gets lost. he also hijacks a train full of other babies and almost drives it right off a cliff. he knows hes being a little shit and does an evil laugh before he does anything. the strongest repercussion he ever faces is getting told "stop being naughty".

so where do the babies come from??

short answer: this is a tv show for toddlers - its the parents job to explain, whether they tell their kids where babies actually come from or say they grow in the ground or whatever.

interesting answer: magic is confirmed to exist in this universe, as there is an episode where they deliver a magical flying baby to its parents (two of santas reindeer). so its most likely that the babies are just beamed down from the sky. no one is ever pregnant, and when someone is "expecting a baby", it means they are going to get one from tots. there are never babies that arent going to be delivered to a parent or parents, so it seems that when people want a baby, they request one from tots and they ask the god of this universe to send one down. to further support magic baby theory, in one episode an egg hatches into a baby peacock that can already talk and is wearing a diaper.

most animals have babies that are of their species, but they can have babies of any kind at all. single parents can get babies as well. babies take after their parents, even if theyre a different species. a baby flamingo enjoys being in the cold just like her polar bear parents. but it seems the parents dont have control over every aspect of their babies, as in one episode there is a bunny couple expecting one baby bunny and they get six. so either that or these guys are just dense, because in every other episode the parents know the names of their babies and may even know what they look like.

what is my point exactly

i had to get my thoughts about this wacky ass show down somewhere!!